Now I’m thirty-seven, divorced from my high school sweetheart for five years. Asshole ran off with his secretary. Only good thing was I had a better lawyer, who capitalized on the video I had of him fucking his secretary in the ass on our bed.My idealism for teaching had left me a few years before my husband did. Teaching simply became a job. It was all I knew, and I had tenure, so I was essentially sleep walking through my job.One benefit of a divorce is that it jumpstarts you into worrying about your appearance again. After the divorce was final I started working out again and got in pretty good shape. I dated a little but got discouraged by the assholes I was dating. It has now been three years since I’ve dated. The only sexual release I received resided in my night stand drawer and that depended on the batteries being charged.Funny thing was that before my divorce and not until the last two years I hadn’t noticed how slutty the girls dressed and how cute the boys were. I tried to. Well, there was the problem. She really wasn't going out with me. In my head, I knew we were taking it slow and it was for the best. Neither of us was ready for a serious relationship. It would be so easy to fall deeply madly for her. She made my heart sing. If she asked me anything, I would probably do it for her.I knew her ex, Bill Rogers, did something that had changed her. Whatever it was, it was holding her back on giving me her heart. I knew she cared for me and she was not dating anyone else, but there was always doubt lurking in the back of my mind. That little voice was telling me she was not really mine. Tracy was only using me to heal herself. I was afraid I was her rebound.I need to talk to Tami about this. The rebound would explain so much. The thing that sucked was the rebound guy never gets a real chance. I was probably stupid for seeing her now. I should have waited and let some other poor sap go through the rebound. She saw me; her smile momentarily lifted my.
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